No, I am not going to take us all back to the days of high school and talk about carbon compounds or soil diversity. I have a different spin.
They say in relationships that “opposites attract”. That is certainly the case in many ways with Rose and I.
Rose is very extroverted. She loves to go to parties and talk with people. I am much more introverted. If I am around people I do not have much in common with, I really struggle. Rose does not have that trouble at all.
Rose has a fantastic memory for names and faces. I can’t tell you the number of times that she has said “look over there, isn’t that so-and-so who we met once?”. And if she sees someone she knows, however little bit, she will go talk to them. I am way more reserved than that. I don’t remember people very well.
Rose is (how should I say this?) somewhat “mercurial” in personality. And by that I mean the definition that says ““. It does not take much to get Rose excited about something and for her to express that emotion. She generally leaves very little doubt about where she stands on a subject. I tend to follow my sign, Libra, the Balance. I don’t get too excited or too down. I hold back my emotions quite often. In fact, when I show an emotion like anger, disdain or passion, people are thrown off (just ask any of my former students or my kids).
I am very organized. I know where things are supposed to be put and I am really good at finding those things when we need them. Rose? She “loses” or cant find stuff all of the time. She is notorious for not putting stuff away.
You get the point. We are different in many ways. However, we have a great “Chemistry” (“the interaction of one personality with another; usually, an affection between two”) . Our differences absolutely complement each other and make us better as a partnership. If you are around us enough when we are together, we are laughing about something. When one of us wants to try something or do something, the first reaction of the other gives is something like “that’s a good idea” or “go ahead, you will probably like that”. We are supportive of each other’s individuality.
Here is a specific example. We have been taking ballroom dancing lessons for nearly three years. I don’t think we are that good, but we are not bad. When a lot of people see us dancing, especially other dancers, they tell us how good we are. I believe that is mainly due to our chemistry. There are times when we will actually flow in a dance for a little while. But then we will mess up. Happens all of the time. What people see are the (occasional) good moves, the joy in our faces, our body language that says we are connected, and the laughs we share. It is not necessarily skill (for instance, I still don’t have the skill to feel the beat of the music very well), it is chemistry.
Like any chemical “compounds”, we have some fundamental areas of agreement that are at the core of our existence. Family is important. We are equals, with great respect for each other. Both of us have good ideas that are worthy of kind consideration every time. We recognize the good in each other. We (try to) listen with an open mind and an open heart.
So what does this all mean? Yep, opposites attract. You need to have some differences to complete each other. But I believe a relationship that only has differences is doomed to failure. I believe the key to a great relationship is chemistry.
I feel blessed I have such a relationship. Few people get them.