Resilience – “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness”.
Resilience is that quality that allows some people to be knocked down by life and come back stronger than ever. Rather than letting failure overcome them and drain their resolve, they find a way to rise from the ashes. Psychologists have identified some of the factors that make someone resilient, among them a positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback. Even after misfortune, resilient people are blessed with such an outlook that they are able to change course and soldier on.
“Success hardly ever comes overnight – it comes from having the resilience to pull yourself up, reboot your resolve, turn failure into opportunity, and give it another go.” Richard Branson
We all can become more resilient.
One way to build resilience is avoiding the secondary stresses in life. These secondary stresses come about when you stress yourself over not getting what you expect or stress yourself over feeling stressed! The less you trouble yourself about unattainable expectations, the less needless stress you’ll experience. Procrastination is a great example of a secondary stress. First, you worry about not doing something you should do. Then you continue to procrastinate. The stress of the unfinished event stays with you. Eventually, the stress wears you down. Another example is worrying about things you cannot control. The psychologist Amos Tversky knew that pessimism was a secondary stress. He once said, “When you are a pessimist and the bad thing happens, you live it twice. Once when you worry about it and the second time when it happens.”
What are the secondary stresses you have in your life? Might you try to handle some of them?
“Resilience won’t make your problems go away — but resilience can give you the ability to see past them”
It is clear that job seeking and career planning require resilience. There are a lot of rejections. It seems to be a roller coaster ride of good days and bad days. It can be very stressful to put yourself out there. Good ideas and good opportunities materialize and then disappear. Just think about how hard it is having to respond to friends and family who ask, “how’s it going?”.
So I will leave those of you who are job seekers, or anyone looking to improve their resilience, with these six tips from the Mayo Clinic on dealing with adversity. They really fit in any circumstances. For the job seeker, they are the elements everyone preaches.
1)Get connected. Building strong, positive relationships with loved ones and friends can provide you with needed support and acceptance in both good times and bad. Establish other important connections by volunteering or joining a faith or spiritual community.
2)Make every day meaningful. Do something that gives you a sense of accomplishment and purpose every day. Set goals to help you look toward the future with meaning.
3)Learn from experience. Think of how you’ve coped with hardships in the past. Consider the skills and strategies that helped you through rough times. You might even write about past experiences in a journal to help you identify positive and negative behavior patterns — and guide your future behavior.
4)Remain hopeful. You can’t change the past, but you can always look toward the future. Accepting and even anticipating change makes it easier to adapt and view new challenges with less anxiety.
5)Take care of yourself. Tend to your own needs and feelings. Participate in activities and hobbies you enjoy. Include physical activity in your daily routine. Get plenty of sleep. Eat a healthy diet. Practice stress management and relaxation techniques, such as yoga, meditation, guided imagery, deep breathing or prayer.
6)Be proactive. Don’t ignore your problems. Instead, figure out what needs to be done, make a plan and take action. Although it can take time to recover from a major setback, traumatic event or loss, know that your situation can improve if you work at it.
Being honest with myself, I am doing pretty good on all of them but #1 and #6. I guess those two are the things to work on!